NBA Christmas Day watchability rankings

For me, Christmas Day is about two things: Family and Basketball. But not "basketball", I'm talking the best the NBA scheduling makers have to offer. A slate so saturated with superstars that names such as "Kawhi Leonard" and "Chris Paul" are just other members of the absolutely ridiculously talented fray.

There are five games set to take action today, and here is basically an entertainment rankings of them. We of course start with the least watchable game, because I love buildups in life.

5. Chicago Bulls vs San Antonio Spurs

WHY IT WILL STINK: The fact that this game is last on the list shows that the NBA does not mess around on Christmas Day.  However, these teams, while both top 7 in defensive rating, are just plain boring. Chicago plays at the pace it takes George RR Martin to finish a Game of Thrones book in order to cater to the needs of its molasses-like guards Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo as well as ground-bound big men in Taj Gibson and Robin Lopez. The Spurs play at an even slower pace, and its not the pretty kind. Tony Parker and Pau Gasol are graceful, but it can be agonizing to watch them attempt to corral a pick-and-roll at this advanced stage in their respective careers. The days of 2014 Finals whizzing ball movement has been uprooted with more isolations for Kawhi Leonard and LaMarcus Aldridge. Effective, yet not as fun.

WHY IT WILL BE AWESOME: Jimmy Butler and Kawhi Leonard are two of the top 5 two-way forwards in the game. Butler is having a career year, averaging 24 points, 7 rebounds and 4 assists. He is the only reason Chicago is on the Christmas slate and the only reason they may be playing come playoff time. Watching him go head-to-head against The Claw is going to be the best part of this game. 

Also, we may see another version of this from Kawhi, in which he absolutely crushes Ben McLemore's dreams, twice.


4. LA Clippers vs Los Angeles Lakers

WHY IT WILL STINK: No Blake Griffin is depressing. Even as he has shifted toward a more balanced all-around game, he can still unleash a fire breathing slam that rocks a whole stadium. His absence leads the Clips to resort to a 4-out offense that is efficient but not as satisfying to watch. The Lakers on the other hand, are 11-20, have no must-watch superstar (yet) and have been dealing with injuries. Also, we may be seeing the ghost of Paul Pierce start, which will be a sad sight.

WHY IT WILL BE AWESOME: It's Clippers-Lakers! These two teams really do not like each other and each battle they have is a symbol for their constant fight concerning "Who owns LA?" (Obviously the Lakers, because the Clippers are and always will be the Clippers. Their sad attempt to distance themselves from the Lakers brand by changing their name from Los Angeles Clippers to LA Clippers was just pitiful). While Chris Paul is not one for Curry-like dizzying three point shots that drip through the net or ferocious slams a la Russell Westbrook, his command of the game is apparent every time he steps on the floor. We know we are in for a vicious CP3 crossover, a couple beautiful J.J. Redick treys and one DeAndre Jordan poster such as the one below, where he eviscerates Pau Gasol:

The Lakers may be struggling, but they always bring it against the very best teams (remember when they trounced the Dubs at home earlier this year?) and have a really fun style of play. They move the ball, let Nick Young be his wacky self and have a gorgeous court to top it all off. This game would have been number 3 on the list if not for Griffin's unfortunate injury.

3. Boston Celtics vs New York Knicks

WHI IT WILL STINK: Major bust potential here. It's an early start, meaning both teams may play a bit groggy and feel a Saturday night in New York start to wear on them. Also, there is no obvious superstar present in this game. Carmelo was one and Kristaps will be one but currently, it's just them, Isaiah Thomas and a bunch of solid players. Knicks games can grow very frustrating after the fifth time Derrick Rose jacks up a contested jump shot instead of passing to Kristaps. While Brad Stevens is an excellent coach, the Celtics are not an extremely exciting team to watch. Lastly, it is tough to watch Joakim Noah these days.

WHY IT WILL BE AWESOME: Two playoff teams battling head to head on Christmas Day for potential seeding down the line? In Madison Square Garden? Kristaps Porzingis is involved? Count me in. This game has a really good chance to be the closest game of them all and it's not out of the question the game ends with a Porzingis putback dunk. We all know Melo always shows up for primetime games, so 30 points is probably the minimum he will get (even if it takes him 30 shots to do so). Watching Isaiah Thomas jitterbug around the towers surrounding him and produce smooth buckets is a joy to behold. Also, I hope ESPN shows this before the game, though I doubt it because Bleacher Report is a direct competitor.



My favorite parts of this video: Porzingis saying "Kristaps Unicorn" as well as D'Angelo Russell's Spy shop. Carry on.

2. Minnesota Timberwolves vs Oklahoma City Thunder

WHY IT WILL STINK: The Wolves are the worst team playing tonight, sitting at a depressing 9-20 record on the season. With Victor Oladipo sidelined, it's just Russell Westbrook and Steven Adams for the Thunder. We will see this game and remark how much the young Wolves remind us of the Thunder, then realize the Thunder were broken up, then just start crying.

WHY IT WILL BE AWESOME: These two teams may not have the best records of the bunch, but that doesn't mean they are not crazy entertaining to watch. Zach LaVine and Andrew Wiggins are human electrobolts (I made that word up but it sounds cool and I think it gets the point across), Ricky Rubio is still good for some sweet passes and Karl Towns is here to dominate. 



Russell Westbrook however, is here to destroy. Any game he plays in is must-watch material. He plays with an intensity I have never really seen before. Yeah, I heard Kobe and Jordan had it, but Russ shows it more than anyone just by watching how HARD he goes after it out there. Some beautiful examples:



Also, the Thunder court is an aesthetically pleasing backdrop to whatever mayhem is happening on it.

1. Golden State Warriors vs Cleveland Cavaliers

WHY IT WILL STINK: The Cavs got blown out by the Dubs last year before beating them in the playoffs. Golden State, in the few games it has lost this year, has lost by an average of 15 points. So there is minor risk of a blowout. Other than that, just enjoy the show.

WHY IT WILL BE AWESOME: A Finals rematch between two equally fantastic teams. Superstars every direction you look! Steve Kerr potentially breaking a clipboard! Kyrie smoking defenders with his killer crossovers. LeBron being LeBron! Steph draining 30-footers! Klay draining 25 footers! Draymond Green kicking everywhere in sight! Add all this, plus Kevin freaking Durant. Highlights of their previous match-ups:



Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. Enjoy!















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